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The Last Resort News Report

News, updates and survival tips from the best beach resort and post-apocalyptic commune this side of the Ruins!

Posted on November 4, 2020November 3, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 37 – 4th November

A dirty and stained newsletter page. Click for transcript.
Posted on October 28, 2020October 26, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Decision In Council #527

A typed note on brown homemade paper, reading: DIC #527, Resolved: That weddings will be documented as Cabin Reassignments with details in the reason, rather than creating a new document class. Reasoning: wedding certificates would be unnecessary duplication of use of a limited resource. Vote: Unanimous
Posted on October 21, 2020October 20, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 36 – 21st October

A dirty and stained newsletter page. Click for transcript.
Posted on October 14, 2020October 13, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

A Note On Helmets

A note in Caleb's handwriting on brown homemade paper: Homer, Iliad 10.260–5: "On the inside there was a strong lining of interwoven straps, onto which a felt cap had been sewn in. The outside was cleverly adorned all around with rows of white tusks from a shiny-toothed boar, the tusks running in alternate directions in each row." Could we do this with minimammoth tusks? We've got enough...
Posted on October 7, 2020October 6, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 35 – 7th October

A dirty and stained newsletter page. Click for transcript.
Posted on September 30, 2020September 25, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Another Carefully Preserved Note

A handwritten note, with an oddly familiar torn upper edge. Hearts surround the name "Eddie". "The grass in the orchard is getting long enough to be perfect for rolling in... join me? Love, Emily
Posted on September 23, 2020September 21, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 34 – September 23rd

A dirty and stained newsletter, complete with spelling mistakes. Click for transcript.
Posted on September 16, 2020September 14, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Adam’s Death Certificate

Certificate Of Death Name of deceased: Adam Eric Eastmann (see CON-8) Time of death: 2:30AM, September 13, (year blotched out) Age at death: 29 Cabin assignment: 7 Cause of death: Breach birth labour, resulting in Caesarian section. Child survived, bearer expired from blood loss.
Posted on September 9, 2020September 8, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 33 – September 9th

A dirty and stained newsletter, complete with spelling mistakes. Click for transcript.
Posted on September 2, 2020August 31, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Ship’s Log

A sheet of lined refill paper, with text in fine cursive on every second line. The first sentence is obviously a continuation from a previous page. Title: Log, Trade to Russell, No Kings, Pg 4 Text: continues clear. Wind steady from SW, low swell. 2.15pm, Day 2 Anderson puked again. Hope this settles, she's a good sailor. 2.25pm, Day 2 Land sighted. High cliffs, may need to search for a safe place to dock. 4.20pm, Day 2 No contact from locals, no smoke etc. Located handholds cut in rock w/ frayed rope. Sent Sevenjhazi up with our own line, don''t trust what's there 6pm, Day 2 Anchored ~200m off for the night, will investigate in AM 8am, Day 3 Anderson up all night. Now suspect food in Russell. 10.30am, Day 3 Signs of conflict, fire. Repairs indicate a few survivors.

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