A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font, including crossed out spelling mistakes. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go and the date September 25th, with the year obscured by a smudge.
First Column, Headline in all caps: Planting Time!
It’s that time again, everyone! With one of our expeditions’ return, and the weather turning warm and bright, it’s time to get out there and get things in the ground!
Brian and his team have been preparing seedlings for the last few weeks, ready for planting in the nearer fields, and we’ve got sacks of seeds for the further fields, so pitch in whenever you have the time! Some things are easier to plant than others, so even if you think you have a black thumb, there’s something you can do to help. If nothing else, planters are going to need guards out there!
And yes, for those of you who have been asking – repeatedly – over the last few weeks, we do have to plant turnips! Sure the kumara and potato fields are doing well right now, but we never know what’s going to happen in the future, and diverse fields are our best bet for food security. If nothing else, they seem to be great minimammoth bait!
Headline in all caps: Free Fields
Personal plots for trade crops are now available! These are a lot of work, but very rewarding as well. A few have already been assigned, but we’ve marked out plenty more plots! So if you’ve ever wanted to grow spices, sugarbeet, hashish, or a fibre crop, and you’ve got the seeds, we’ve got the land! You get to keep half of everything you grow for personal trade, with the rest going to the Resort as a whole, and Brian and his team are happy to help with any issues you have!
Second Column, Headline in all caps: Slow Sailing
Given the news in our last issue, a lot of you have been reaching out to us, and to the Council, expressing concern about our other expedition, to the marina at Tutukaka. While we’re not currently in contact, we don’t currently think there’s any cause for alarm. This expedition was always planned to take a little longer, just in case they got a chance to repair a really good boat. They’re well armed and ready for anything,we’re sure they’ll be fine!
Headline in all caps: Watch The Skies!
Another thing Spring brings with it is the constant threat of critters migrating from the north to spend their summers in our little slice of paradise! For some of these, we’ll be able to offer more precise warnings, but many don’t have a strict schedule, so they could arrive any time. Keep an eye out while you’re out in the fields, you never know when you might be targetted by an aerial predator, let alone any… other dangers!
An illustration of a hapless individual being splattered from above.