A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font, including crossed out spelling mistakes. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go and the date September 11th, with the year obscured by a smudge.
First Column. Headline in all caps: A Terrible Loss
As many of you know by now, our expedition to ascertain the fate of our friends the Russell Jacks trade
party has returned, in the late evening, just last night. We now know the fate of the traders, as well as why it took a whole month for our own expedition to return. The news our scouts brought was dire: the trade party had encountered a hunting pack of teddy bears, with no survivors. Our gallant travellers took it upon themselves to end the threat of a pack bold enough to attack a well-armed caravan upon the open road, and hunted the foul beasts for almost a week before coming upon and destroying their lair. That done, they returned what they could to Russell, as a gesture of commiseration and friendship with our trading partner.
The Jacks’ scout and message runner, Nyala Balacha, decided to return with our party, rather than stay in the uncomfortable position of lone survivor. She has been assigned to Cabin 21, and will be joining the scouts once she’s settled in, a role to which her skills are well matched. This is of course a slim silver lining on such a dark cloud, but we hope you’ll make her welcome nonetheless. She made a very good impression on us all over the length of her previous stay here, and we’re sure that she’ll continue to be welcome here, regardless of the circumstances of her arrival.
Second column: a header and footer of lilies frame a list of the fallen.
Headline in all caps: In Memoriam
Scott Inglis, Caravan Leader. Joel Marama, Driver. Fiona Redwood, Farrier. Isla Nielsen, Wheelwright. Alex Nielsen, Quartermaster. Sione Fisher, Guard. Vimal Chen, Guard. Whero Fullwright, Guard. Olaf Martin, Firekeeper. Pania Marama, Scout.