A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go? and the date May 5th, Year 2.
Body text, headline in all caps: Shattering Hopes
Once more, we bring you sad tidings from the world out-side the fence. Despite the sterling efforts of our scouts, news of the missing crew of the Aqua Lust came by some fortunate current directly to our shore.
A bottle was found on our beach this monday, jammed with paper and stoppered with wax, containing the logs of the AL and a last note from Deborah Reed, its captain. The note has been delivered to her husband, Robbie, and their children.
The crew were apparently set upon by a shellback, one of the larger critters we know of and a rare but ever-present danger on the oceans. Older readers may recall that some years ago, one patrolled the seas near the Resort, attempting to pluck residents off the cliffs, and we were forced to remain inside until the beast lost interest and departed. In that event, no lives were lost, and we wish we had been so lucky once more.
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Our condolences are with the families and cabins of all the crew, and we’re sure that the resort will rally around them in this difficult time.
Headline in all caps: Blade Stayed
The blade ceremony, which is normally held at this time, has been postponed to next week. This is an important celebration of those who are taking on adult roles in the community, and when we are celebrating their growth, it should be at a time when our minds and hearts are less burdened by grief. Those who are to be awarded have been informed so that they don’t burst from the anticipation, but the actual award will be at a time when we can give them all the congratulations they’ve sincerely earned!
Headline in all caps: Food Fiesta
One celebration that won’t be overshadowed by grief was the harvest festival, held last week. We all tried that fiery sauce and had a great time, despite our worries, putting a cap on another excellent growing season!