A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go? and the date January 13th, Year 2.
Body text, headline in all caps: Costly Cooling
We would like to remind all of you that it is currently NOT safe to go swimming at our beach, even if it’s hot! Andy Fitzpatrick found that out the hard way, and while we extend our commiseration and hopes for as swift and complete a recovery as is possible, we also need to make sure all our friends know that his injuries were absolutely avoidable with a little common sense!
Work on the net continues, but it likely won’t be ready until next summer, so until then, stick to cooling down with a shower – we’re pretty sure the slotters can’t get into those!
Special congratulations and thanks, too, to Caleb McCrae and Dhaya Singh, who worked all evening to save Andy’s life, and even attempted to save his leg! Speaking as a veteran of the bad old days, that was as clean an amputation as I’ve ever seen, especially for a first time! A soak in salt water should get the blood out of your clothes!
New column, headline in all caps: New Year
Reminders of the hard years before we secured the Resort aside, this is a time for a look back at how far we’ve come, and how much we have to look forward to in the coming year!
Reports coming from Waiheke with our sailors after drug and alcohol deliveries say that the epidemic seems to finally be running out of steam! Hopefully, trade will be opening up again in the new year, though it may take some time for production to reach its former levels.
The trade route north that was reestablished last year has given us a fine stock of hard leather, and after the harvest we’ll be beginning drills in armour!
So here’s to a new year full of wealth, fellowship and safety! While we’ll always face difficulties, dangers and challenges, we’re doing it together, both with our community here, and with our trade partners! The wild is hostile, but our walls are strong and our home cosy!