A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go? and the date September 9th, Year 2.
Body text, headline in all caps: No People
Our expedition north returned this week with some sad news: the commune on the No Kings Islands is no longer extant. Despite their isolation from many of the critters we deal with daily, they were unable to prevent conflict within the community from destroying the fragile balance that keeps us all alive.
From what Captain Debbie saw, conflict over limited water turned violent, until too few people were alive to fend off the yearly Gryphon migration. A solemn reminder to us all of the Old World proverb: we must love one another or die.
What was left there in terms of material value was packed onto the ship, apparently with difficulty given the terrain, and either traded at Russell or returned home. Most notably, the Islanders had a rifle, and although it was destroyed at some point during the conflict, much of its ammunition remained in good condition, and matches one of our firearms, so our own survival may have been boosted a little, at least!
Qualified shooters should apply for firearms instruction and, if approved, certification!
New column, headline in all caps: Hard Boiled
The other aim of our trip north, to trade with our friends in Russell, was much more of a success! Various goods were traded, though the bulk of what we received was dried fish, a Russell Jacks staple that keeps for years and adds valuable protein to any dish it’s boiled in for at least three hours, and a fair supply of boiled leather from their Pomp tannery. That means armour!
The precise use of this material is still being worked out, since we’ve only brought back a limited supply on this voyage. Likely the smithy will be putting together some one-size-fits-most armour for our front line and scouts, with a few people getting fitted suits on the basis of need. The long term plan is of course to outfit everyone with at least shin guards, a belly plate, a covering for the right arm and a kilt, which will supplement our shields and prevent a lot of hurt!
To that end, we’ll be trading north again as often as possible – dried fruit will help the Russell Jacks to maintain a healthy diet, and they’re happy to produce more boiled leather to pay for it!
Since this will be an established route, speak to Debbie whenever you see her around if you have products you’d like to trade north!