A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go? and the date June 17th, Year Two.
Body text, first column, headline in all caps: Cleared Out
Well! Over the last two weeks we’ve done a lot of hard work, and if you’re feeling a little drained, you’re not alone! But Caleb has told us that we can now feel confident that we have successfully passed through the worst of the illness, a hollow victory though that may be!
All kidding aside, we can all be really proud of how we came together, made necessary changes to how we did things, and made sure our friends who had it the worst were properly supported! A potentially deadly epidemic passed through without a single death, all thanks to all of you, from the sugar farmers and salt panners, to the wood choppers who helped us boil our water, right down to the toilet helpers who did the dirtiest job, at enormous personal risk! Thank you all!
Headline in all caps: New Homes
This epidemic has highlighted a long-standing issue here at the resort. We’re just too close a community! By which we mean that we live too close together, with families packed into one room. Cabin assignments have become a wonderful extended family, but we need to spread out a little, so we can more easily keep our (new column) living spaces clean.
To that end, we’ve decided that this year’s project will be cutting lots of timber. As in, as much as we can store. It will need some seasoning, so we’ll have to wait to mill it, but once we’ve got some well-dried planks, we’re finally going to have a proper town wall! And it’s going to have living spaces all along its length, solving two of our biggest problems in one swoop! Any leftover timber will be used to extend the cabins we already have. We’ve been a growing community for a while, and it’s time our housing grew to reflect that!
Headline in all caps: One Year
And, now that we’ve looked forward to the future, a quick glance back! This issue is our 27th, which means that the print Report has been, well, in print, for a full year!
We’ve seen a lot of changes in that time, and reported on them all for our loyal readers. We’d like to take the time to thank you for your strong and continued support for our work. Keeping you informed, and keeping a record of our little resort’s trials and triumphs is important to all of us on the Social Committee. We look forward to many more years of reports on the goings-on in this, the best little post-apocalyptic commune ever!
From the bottoms of our hearts, thank you!