A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go? and the date May 6th, with the year obscured by a blood splatter.
Body text, headline in all caps: Harvest Hoedown
There’s still plenty to be brought in from the fields, but with all the different crops we grow, finding a definite end to the harvest is hard. That’s why we celebrate when the root cellar is full – it means that we have enough food to last all the way to summer if we have to, which means a good, comfortable winter! So we’re not stopping work just yet, but we are going to take a short break for a barn dance! The dance will be held on Saturday, May 16th, so you’ve plenty of time to make sure your finery is presentable!
Headline in all caps: Barn Building
As some of you might have noticed, we don’t actually have a barn free for dancing in – even the stables are a little cramped, and frankly we’re running out of storage space for all the delicious crops we’re bringing in (and the turnips, too)! Luckily, we can gut two otters with one thrust – a new barn has long been on the way, we’ve had the timber cut since late winter, and we can finally get it up this weekend, just in time to have a nice, open dance floor!
Robbie and his crew have been cutting planks to length and prefabricating sections to be put together, so the work should go quickly! It’s always a fun group effort, and a little awe-inspiring to see a whole new building just appear over the course of a day, let alone how proud you’ll be to see it in years to come and know you had a hand in putting it there! So come on down on Saturday, May 9th, and together we’ll finally make Barn 6 a thing! We’ll even be bringing some ink and brushes, so you can all sign the rafters!
New column, headline in all caps: Blade Ceremony
The end of harvest – in celebratory terms at least – also means it’s time for one of our most cherished community traditions! Every year, our younger harvesters are watched over by members of the Council as they work, and those who demonstrate an appropriate level of diligence and responsibility are granted the mark of adulthood: their own machetes, for self-defence and work in the field. Since the Resort was established as a safe haven, these simple blades have been our constant defence and most reliable tools, and have become a symbol of liberty and responsibility to our community. This year, new blades, forged by our own smith, will be presented to the following:
Amelia Rochester, 17, of Cabin 8
Francis Hobbs, 14, of Cabin 17
Zoe van der Veen, 13, of Cabin 22
Alvin Wong, 15, of Cabin 6
Liam Rochester, 16, of Cabin 8
Ella Henare, 12, of Cabin 5
Lukas Willow, 16, of Cabin 12
Mason Jones, 18, of Big Cabin East
Ruby Taumata, 14, of Cabin 16
Olivia Hope, 15, of Cabin 29
Lachlan Gibbs, 14, of Cabin 20
Baan Singh, 11, of Cabin 9
Hazel Michels, 13, of Cabin 14
Congratulations to all our recipients this year! And of course, good luck next year for the rest of our candidates! Many of you have been working hard and showing responsibility and diligence, and even if you didn’t make it this year, that will be counted in your favour for next year! If earning your blade was easy, it wouldn’t matter half as much!