A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth. A large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Be In Love? and the date February 12th, with the year obscured by a splatter of pink paint.
Body text, headline in all caps: Storm Warning
Well, I guess we asked for this – just as Valentimes is upon us, with all our preparations for a lovely picnic outside in the bright sun and soft breezes… a storm approaches! The usual warnings and caveats apply and we’ll need some help cleaning up in the orchard afterwards, but the big change is that both the picnic, and the triple-work guarding it, are cancelled.
Headline in all caps: Hygge Fawning
But fear not! With a lot of work by yours truly on the social committee, we have managed to move the whole thing into the dining hall! Feast the night away in cosiness and good company while the storm rolls over. Getting home for privacy promises to be thrilling, and offer a chance for classic lines! We need lots of help in the kitchen, too, if you still want to get that triple work credit! We did want to ask Rangi and Alice if they would host the event, as they did so many events in the colder part of the year, but they have apparently embarked on an extended scouting trip with Nyala, our newest scout, and won’t be back until the 20th at the earliest. Mama and Papa Singh, though, promise to serenade us, and what could be more appropriate than a couple who have been together for forty years, and are talented musicians besides? Debbie and Erika have brought in a lot of fresh seafood, so the feast promises to be excellent as well!
New column, headline in all caps: Living Awning
Those who stayed awake through the whole meeting on storm protection options tell us that a decision was reached somewhere near midnight. Wood and cloth structures were rejected, because of low supplies and production of each, and in the end, the meeting settled on an experimental approach. In a few weeks’ time, hopefully after the summer storms have passed, we’ll be out planting saplings and full-grown transplants of various bushes and trees, including poplars, camellias, lilly pillies and bamboo. We’ll put different ones in different parts of the farm and see what works best!
If you want to take part in getting the saplings growing and ready for planting, they’ll be in the north room of the upper workshops. Also, if you have any hedge plants or trees you’re a particular advocate of, check the list in that room, and if they’re not on there, speak to Rachel Appelbaum to make your case for their inclusion. We don’t want to miss out on the best options!
Title in all caps: Cut Out Valentine
A cartoon of a stick figure with a pickaxe running away from a mine entrance, chased by several large, poorly-drawn bees, with the legend “Bee Mine?” and a space for a signature.