A dirty and stained A4 sheet of paper, printed with purple images and text in a monospaced font. A logo including a sun, with an ocean wave cresting inside it, in a shape vaguely reminiscent of a tongue ringed by sharp teeth sits to the left of a large headline reading Last Resort News Report with the tagline Where Else Would You Want To Go and the date January 1st, with the legend We Made It in all caps.
First column, headline in all caps: Happy New Year!
We did it! Another year surviving and thriving! We all deserve the party we’re going to have had by the time you’re reading this. Hopefully it went awesomely! Special thanks to Sangita and Keerath Singh, who have bravely volunteered to host the kids’ party and sleepover so the rest of us could let our hair down a little!
Special double super thanks too to Eli, who is opening his special double premium reserve applejack so we can all have a shot at the start of the night, despite, quote, “his better judgment”! So if you embarrassed yourself at the party, don’t worry, most of us probably don’t remember it!
Headline in all caps: Christmas Crisis
So, obviously you were all there, because who doesn’t like a roast lunch on the beach, but just in case you’d wandered off to pee when it all happened, and for our historical records: slotters ate our christmas!
The net held for while a while, and we think it’s worth trying again for a more permanent installation when we manage to remake it, but for now it’s been hauled back ashore and the weak point identified. Apparently we need to overlap the wires a lot more, set a minimum gauge, and twist them hard around each other, because those smart little buggers will happily unwind it if it’s only a couple of turns! That much wire means it might have to wait – there are more urgent uses – but we on the social committee promise we’ll push hard to ensure we can swim on our beach!
New column.
Those injured in the attack have been tended and reportedly are recovering well – hopefully you’ll have seen most of them at the party!
Little Tim Cawley lost a finger, but it wasn’t one of the important ones, and he’s reportedly having a lot of fun scaring his classmates with it whenever his dressings are changed. That’s the Last Resort spirit, Tim!
Headline in all caps: Looking Ahead
The new year is always a time for looking ahead to the future. For obvious reasons, we can’t predict what will happen to our little town, and to our friends all across this gorgeous, lush post-apocalyptic hell of ours. But we can look forward to some things. Sure, we need to batten down soon, as the summer storms approach from the north, and the autumn migrations are still ahead, with all their attending fire risk and biteyness. But we can also look forward to gaining confidence in our new nautical ventures, perhaps exploring new places or gaining access to new resources. Our loggers will be bringing in new trees to dry, and the next stock will be brought up for sawing, which means we can build more, perhaps even expanding our defensive lines, or building another boat. We’ll have parties, and meals, new loves and old, and we’ll have each other, a real community, helping one another to not only survive, but thrive. After all, we’ve come this far together, haven’t we?
So, like Tim, let’s keep giving the dangerous world outside our walls the middle finger, by thriving – together!