The Last Resort News Report

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Month: January 2020

Posted on January 29, 2020January 27, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 17 – January 29th

A stained and dirty page of purple text. Click for transcription.

Posted on January 22, 2020January 21, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Bookworm Poster

Warning! Bookworms have been sighted in this area! Report all sightings immediately! (the worm is illustrated. It is catlike, fuzzy, and very cute, with glasses-like rings around its eyes). They may be cute, but they can potentially destroy all our knowledge resources! Bait with waste paper and stomp with preju- -n't let the little buggers w- (the lower part of the page has been nibbled away in small bites, with a large bloodstain and splatter from the lower left)
Posted on January 15, 2020January 15, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 16 – January 15th

A stained and dirty page of purple text. Click for transcription.
Posted on January 8, 2020March 23, 2020 by wazzawazzawoo

Eli’s Letter

A handwritten letter, on the back of a copy of the Report. The letter is written in almost unreadable cursive, with a more comprehensible hand underneath: This is just to say that I will no longer be providing alcohol freely to events. I understand that we all need to blow off steam, but some of our people have serious problems and we can't keep ignoring that! I will provide a few bottles to people I trust, and that's it! Good news is, I think I've finally cracked standard doses for hash oil, so I might be able to substitute that at future events. So far as I know, no one ever got dangerously hooked on that. Yours in exasperation, Eli Appelbaum P.S. tell the scouts to keep a particular eye out for books on twelve step programs, they might be useful for those who need help!
Posted on January 1, 2020December 31, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

Issue 15 – January 1st

A dirty and stained page of typewritten text. Click for transcript.

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