The Last Resort News Report

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Month: October 2019

Posted on October 30, 2019October 30, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

WANTED

An image of a griffin, captioned in all caps: Wanted: Out of here as quickly as possible without anyone getting hurt. Distinguishing features: bitey beak, grabby claws, flappy wings, dopey face, yucky flesh. Reward offered for surviving until they've gone past without anyone dying: a much less sad celebratory feast. Considered armed, legged, beaked and dangerous. Any information you have regarding them is going to have to wait until after the migration because seriously, stay inside.
Posted on October 23, 2019October 21, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

10th Issue – 23rd October

A stained and faded newsletter page. Click for transcript.
Posted on October 16, 2019October 15, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

Boat Note

A handwritten conversation, on faded plans for Optimist sailing skiffs: 1: What the hell are we supposed to do with these things? They're basically floating bathtubs! 2: They're training boats, and none of us really know how to sail? Seems pretty basic 1: Yeah, but we have the other boats for that! We just need to find the backs... 2: Well, worse comes to worst, we can always put them on dry land and fill them with hot water.
Posted on October 9, 2019October 21, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

9th Page – 9th July?

Posted on October 2, 2019October 1, 2019 by wazzawazzawoo

Farm Map

A hand-drawn map of a golf course, with the fairways marked with various staple crops and the treelines marked with various fruits and nuts, bordered by a blackberry hedge.

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